Tuesday, 14 July 2009

Rawkin' Roll with the Punches...

Things are rawkin' in rawkville...sorry, that's (raw) cheezy. :p

Some days I'm 100%, some days, I'm raw until dinner...but all days, I'm in the right head-space for it. So I'd say it's going wonderfully.

That mindset. That corner you turn. It finally happened again. This time, as I've been saying, I'm traveling lighter down that path...not gorging myself on raw food info, leaving little time for other pursuits, and getting all zealot-y on myself or worse, on others.

I'm not preaching, even to myself. I'm curbing myself from reading labels. I know everyone "should" read labels but I got into that and went beyond it, where I was always reading labels and then either scoffing at "what they put in this shit" or mad at myself for indulging in some of it. Just crazy making stuff.

And I know I must be a pain in the ass to grocery shop with. I'm sure, though my boyfriend is too smart to tell me that. ;) He'd put some salad dressing in the cart and I'd pick it up and read it and say, "Did you see the SODIUM?!" And he'd sigh and put it back on the shelf. Yes, it's good to care, but it's not good to take over, and it's often better to leave some things alone, sometimes. JUST SOMETIMES! ;)

Anyway, I know enough about foods now to leave that stuff alone for the most part, and just eat. Just eat when I'm hungry and notice when I'm eating when it's not about hunger, and just witness myself, overall. I feel like this time, I'm removing the emergency of raw foods, and choosing to just groove along, noticing benefits and consequences, accordingly.

The other day, I enjoyed a lime lemonade from a bottle that made that loud 'pak' sound when I twisted the lid...a sure sign it's been pasteurized. I knew that going in, and just viewed my selection as a lovely, refreshing drink on a hot summer day.

When I finished drinking it, I instinctively turned the bottle on its side, aiming to read what I'd done to myself, and had a big "on second thought" moment and just tossed it in the recycle bin. Because I know that the only thing I would do with that information is regret my choice, berate myself for drinking it, etc.

Now, this is not to say I now want to have blinders on, of course. It's more about taming the extremities of raw for me. I want to lose the mind games I played with myself. Mind games I didn't realize were there, but that now, for some reason, I see with clarity. I hadn't realized how unbending I was (and therefore more prone to breaking) I was when I was that rigid.

And again, it's not that I don't think raw is great or that 100% raw is greater, because I actually do feel that way, for myself anyway...having been at the peak of energy and health when I was all the way raw... it's more the mindset... I want to be as raw as I'm ready to be, not as raw as I'm willing to white knuckle. I don't want to be on a wagon that I can fall from... this time I want to be just easin' on down the road.

Sing it with me, People!


Zucchini Breath said...

oh, I'm with you. I refuse to feel ashamed just because I ate some cooked food! in the past year I gave up cigarettes, all animal products, including my shoes, pearls and feather pillows and coffee. And it's only been a year for me.

I think we are both doing really well, comparatively. My morning smoothie keeps me grounded.

You know, i got rid of that problem about reading labels. I don't eat anything that comes in a package. oops! Carry on! :)

Rawkin' said...

Good for you, Zucchini Breath. Giving up any one of those things is a great accomplishment, but look at you GO! I love what you say about not eating anything that comes in a package. I tend to lean that way as well.


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