I saw myself with such disgust and hopelessness. I felt defiant standing there posing, and almost did it as an exercise in showing myself just how far I'd gone. As in, 'LOOK AT YOURSELF!'
As crappy as it felt, I'm SO glad I took those photos...shitty little camera on self timer in a low light basement suite...doesn't matter, what matters is that I documented it.
Even if you never, ever show any other soul on earth, let alone post it online, I think it's a great idea to take your own version of a 'Before' picture and tuck it away somewhere.
Doing so might feel low in the moment, but what it does is offer a starting point.
It lifts the veil of denial and sets things in motion, however subtle at first.
It's photo proof that as you make changes in your lifestyle that support your goals of vibrant health, that things really are changing.
I once planted some seeds and put the little pot on the window sill.
Weeks went by and I saw nothing, even though I watered it carefully whenever it got dry, even though I didn't forget about it, even though I was really wanting it to sprout. Nothing happened.
So one day, I just figured it was hopeless and I took the pot off the window sill, turned it over in my hand to pop the soil out, and planned to throw it in the garbage.
What I saw next stopped me in my tracks.
This perfectly square, massive tangle of thick, healthy roots!
"Omg, I'm SORRY!" I said to the plant as I rushed it back into the pot and patted it down in shock.
"I'm sorry!!" Oh, wow!!"
Even though there was nothing 'showing' yet on the surface, there was absolute strength, change, and magic happening under the soil. It was what I've come to call 'The Root Work'.
Without it, none of the surface stuff would ever happen. To think I almost scrapped the whole thing because it wasn't showy enough, soon enough.
Similarly, all our efforts that go into changing our lifestyle...
When we don't see results on the surface, we tend to dismiss our efforts as not working.
What's happening inside our body is much like what's happening under the soil...tremendously important 'root work' is under way.
There has to be trust that even though it doesn't yet look like the orchid you've taken care to plant, that you've laid the foundation to turn it into exactly that.
If you plant the seeds of health, health is what you will get.
Start to notice the most subtle of changes on the surface, and know that deep, good work is happening as it should.
The slightest change on the surface...better skin, sweeter breath, looser pants... all the result of some rawkin' root work goin' on. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Take another photo. Document your journey even when it feels like you're not moving.
Trust me, you ARE.