Man, did I ever want cooked food last night!! I don't know what the hell hit me, oh wait, I do know. I was watching Restaurant Makeover and they had this wonderful Greek chef whose signature dish was roast lamb. Get away from me. I used to go to this one place in town just FOR the roast lamb.
So just like remembering really good sex with an old lover, I set about romanticising lamb.
I told Steve, "I want everything that's bad for me tonight!" He wiggled his eyebrows and I punched him in the arm. "Not thaaaat...!"
I said, "I want cooked food, I want laaaaamb"
He was silent for a minute then said, "Well I want everything good for me."
I was both peeved and relieved. Mostly relieved. It made me think of what's great about us. We never seem to fall out of love at the same time in our 14 years, and whenever one is weak, the other's strength kicks in. I love us.
He said, "You want the taste of lamb, but you don't want the feeling that goes with it afterwards...you don't want to upset your stomach, which it will, you don't want a resurgence of zits, which you'll get, you don't want to wake up with a salty, pasty mouth, which you would, you don't want the bloat and constipation, which you'll get... and you don't want the spiral into cooked foods. You will feel so much better about everything if you stick to how we're eating."
He was right! All those things, check.
Mostly we just groove along eating mostly raw, but the odd time, one of us whines for the old days and what he told me is pretty much what I tell him when he's the one in that situation.
There have been a few times we were 'there' at the same time, and learned much. "Oh, gawd, let's not do that again..." but of course, we do. But it's getting less and less.
For the most part, as he pointed out to me, we just don't want to undo the good or worse, go back to how we were living.
I'm really grateful today :)
When one of us is feeling the way I felt last night, the other says, "I'll take care of dinner, and fix you something great"...running with the fact that if we're feeling like roast lamb, suddenly looking into a fridge predominantly comprised of vegetables will seem overwhelming and like 'there's nothing to eeeeeeeaaaat'.
So he whipped me up a gorgeous salad with some flax crackers, and broke a special one into a heart.
I'm a blessed woman.
And I'm sooooo glad I didn't have roasted lamb. Just like remembering an old lover, my momentary craving had made it larger than life. But when the feeling passed...and it always does, I also remembered the reasons why the lover was an old lover.