Don't mess with my chocolate

Well what do ya know...?  I was up and at 'em today.  I actually had nothing to report yesterday, because I did absolutely nothing.  I was still feeling 'unplugged' and I just laid about.  You know, there's a guilty/shame vibe that goes along with that.  At least for me.  There's also a feeling that something deeper is 'wrong', and what if it's not detox?  That sort of thinking.  That's the hypochondriac in me, rearin' it ugly head.  I do know that the further I go into raw, the quieter that voice gets, and it's just a matter of time before that's the last thing on my mind.  YAY something to look forward to.  It hasn't been too bad or anything...just these vague musings I bat away like flies.  Shoo, already!

But I had more energy today, and it's always easier for me to trust the process from that standpoint.  I enjoyed my green lemonade, though not until later in the day.  In the morning, I ate 2 bananas and exactly one date.  I find them quite awful on their own.  Even the lovely organic medjools.  I love what they do to a dessert, but alone, they are too much.  Too intense and not the right kind of sweetness.  I guess I'm a chocolate girl and everything else sweet kinda pales.  (Well, except Islander's shortbread.  Dang, Girl, I found the recipe and was sooo tempted.  The only thing that saved me was remembering that I don't have an oven.) Is there a raw shortbread?  Methinks that would pale, too...but let's give my head a shake here, lots of raw sweeties to love...like, those brownies.  Unparallelled!

We had a gig tonight, our last show of this year.  It was a small concert at a private holiday party,  held in a community centre, and I figured there would be party food to avoid, so I wanted to make sure that I fed us a raw meal before we left the house. 

I chose Gabriel Cousens' raw chili, salad, and raw chocolate pudding.  The pudding was awful!  I think it was my fault.  lol  The recipe is simple...1/2 avocado, 6 dates, 4 tbsp cocoa.  Well, I don't use cocoa when I'm raw, I use raw cacao.   My grocer was out of raw cacao, so I bought cacao nibs, and ground them.  I whipped it up in the Vitamix until it was powder, and added the other stuff, and couldn't believe how crapola it tasted even though it looked like gorgeous pudding.  When my boyfriend tried it, even he scrunched up his nose and said, "It's pretty intense..."  So later, after the gig, I was now on a mission (screw with MY chocolate, will you!?)  went to a different grocery store and bough raw cacao...(this stuff in the photo, above) it's what I make the raw brownies with...it's *cough$14cough* (that is inSANE and I need my head examined but I bet if I fed a raw brownie to the guy examining me, he'd want the recipe too).  But back to this pudding; it is hopeless.  Even with raw cacao, it was assy. I didn't throw it out, though, I chopped bananas into it and put it in the freezer for when I'm desperate, lol.) Maybe Natalia Rose and I have a very different palette.  Could be, right?  From now on, for chocolate pudding, I'll just make the brownie icing and serve it in a dish. 

2 avocados

1/3-1/2 c agave nectar

1/4 c cocao powder

2 T coconut oil

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

dash salt

dash cinnamon

But the chili, ooh the chili, it was divine!!  I love this recipe.  Easy and fabulous.  It was the perfect dish before heading out on a rainy night to play tunes at a party.

What a great bunch of folks.  We had a wonderful time. It was easy to resist the little sandwiches and cheezies.  I mean, I coulda, but I'm doing something here! :)  Steve did, though!  haha it makes me smile to tattle on him because I know only I care.  He sure doesn't.  He's the most 'take it as it comes' guy in the world. He sweats NOTHING.  If he wants a damn cheezy, he'll eat it and then enjoy raw stuff with as much gusto.  Not like us women, who think 'now look what I've done, it's all ruined!' lol 

The host who hired us gave us a lovely magnet along with our pay.  She didn't have to do that, and it was a beautiful gesture.  And we brought 12 Cd's to sell and by gum, we sold 'em all!  Yeehaaa!

Indeed.

So to end this post with a couple photos of things I'm grateful for... hmmmm.....SNOW!  This photo was taken by my friend Dorothy at her farm in Alberta.  I wish I was there, sitting in her kitchen, with this view!

Twisted X boots...oh my I am so looking forward to looking down and seeing a pair of these on my feet! Won't these be hot at gigs??  Oooh mama.

xo

Rawkin'

Don't mess with my chocolate

Well what do ya know...?  I was up and at 'em today.  I actually had nothing to report yesterday, because I did absolutely nothing.  I was still feeling 'unplugged' and I just laid about.  You know, there's a guilty/shame vibe that goes along with that.  At least for me.  There's also a feeling that something deeper is 'wrong', and what if it's not detox?  That sort of thinking.  That's the hypochondriac in me, rearin' it ugly head.  I do know that the further I go into raw, the quieter that voice gets, and it's just a matter of time before that's the last thing on my mind.  YAY something to look forward to.  It hasn't been too bad or anything...just these vague musings I bat away like flies.  Shoo, already!

But I had more energy today, and it's always easier for me to trust the process from that standpoint.  I enjoyed my green lemonade, though not until later in the day.  In the morning, I ate 2 bananas and exactly one date.  I find them quite awful on their own.  Even the lovely organic medjools.  I love what they do to a dessert, but alone, they are too much.  Too intense and not the right kind of sweetness.  I guess I'm a chocolate girl and everything else sweet kinda pales.  (Well, except Islander's shortbread.  Dang, Girl, I found the recipe and was sooo tempted.  The only thing that saved me was remembering that I don't have an oven.) Is there a raw shortbread?  Methinks that would pale, too...but let's give my head a shake here, lots of raw sweeties to love...like, those brownies.  Unparallelled!

We had a gig tonight, our last show of this year.  It was a small concert at a private holiday party,  held in a community centre, and I figured there would be party food to avoid, so I wanted to make sure that I fed us a raw meal before we left the house. 

I chose Gabriel Cousens' raw chili, salad, and raw chocolate pudding.  The pudding was awful!  I think it was my fault.  lol  The recipe is simple...1/2 avocado, 6 dates, 4 tbsp cocoa.  Well, I don't use cocoa when I'm raw, I use raw cacao.   My grocer was out of raw cacao, so I bought cacao nibs, and ground them.  I whipped it up in the Vitamix until it was powder, and added the other stuff, and couldn't believe how crapola it tasted even though it looked like gorgeous pudding.  When my boyfriend tried it, even he scrunched up his nose and said, "It's pretty intense..."  So later, after the gig, I was now on a mission (screw with MY chocolate, will you!?)  went to a different grocery store and bough raw cacao...(this stuff in the photo, above) it's what I make the raw brownies with...it's *cough$14cough* (that is inSANE and I need my head examined but I bet if I fed a raw brownie to the guy examining me, he'd want the recipe too).  But back to this pudding; it is hopeless.  Even with raw cacao, it was assy. I didn't throw it out, though, I chopped bananas into it and put it in the freezer for when I'm desperate, lol.) Maybe Natalia Rose and I have a very different palette.  Could be, right?  From now on, for chocolate pudding, I'll just make the brownie icing and serve it in a dish. 

2 avocados

1/3-1/2 c agave nectar

1/4 c cocao powder

2 T coconut oil

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

dash salt

dash cinnamon

But the chili, ooh the chili, it was divine!!  I love this recipe.  Easy and fabulous.  It was the perfect dish before heading out on a rainy night to play tunes at a party.

What a great bunch of folks.  We had a wonderful time. It was easy to resist the little sandwiches and cheezies.  I mean, I coulda, but I'm doing something here! :)  Steve did, though!  haha it makes me smile to tattle on him because I know only I care.  He sure doesn't.  He's the most 'take it as it comes' guy in the world. He sweats NOTHING.  If he wants a damn cheezy, he'll eat it and then enjoy raw stuff with as much gusto.  Not like us women, who think 'now look what I've done, it's all ruined!' lol 

The host who hired us gave us a lovely magnet along with our pay.  She didn't have to do that, and it was a beautiful gesture.  And we brought 12 Cd's to sell and by gum, we sold 'em all!  Yeehaaa!

Indeed.

So to end this post with a couple photos of things I'm grateful for... hmmmm.....SNOW!  This photo was taken by my friend Dorothy at her farm in Alberta.  I wish I was there, sitting in her kitchen, with this view!

Twisted X boots...oh my I am so looking forward to looking down and seeing a pair of these on my feet! Won't these be hot at gigs??  Oooh mama.

xo

Rawkin'

Stuff about raw, stuff about other stuff...

Not much to report...headache-y day...lounging about...

I figured I would make a giant batch of green lemonade in my juicer...the equivalent of what I make when I juice it for my boyfriend and I. In other words, so that I could have BOTH big glasses of green lemonade. (Celebrating not sharing!)

This means I juiced a very large head of romaine, a couple handfuls of mixed greens, 3 small apples and 2 small lemons.

I loved it when I drank it, both glasses...but then, I got hit with a headache within a half hour or so, and it has stayed with me the day.

Is this drink as potent and cleansing as this...that it would throw me 'head first' into detox? Really? It's all I could come up with...but I am not sure. Yesterday was raw, and for that matter, over a week before Christmas was raw, too. But this is more green lemonade than I've ever drank at once. I have had it spaced through the day, but not in 2 'big gulps' sized glasses.

Subsequently I was a big blob today, a tv-watching, napping, layabout. It's not helping that I have no car these days...but usually I find things to do that have nothing to do with going out. So, not sure what's up. I did do a bunch of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and cleared up a few issues (Issues! Gesundheit!). Did walk the dog, who I am sure can't wait for Mummy's energy to return!!

Walked her to the store, where I picked up bananas, apples, more greens. Hey, the other day a friend of mine reminded me of something I'd learned a while back but had forgotten...it's kinda cool.

You know how we're all used to peeling a banana from the top down? Well, if you turn the banana upside down, pinch the bottom, it easily peels and then you can use the 'top' (now the bottom) as a handle. Totally goofy banana peeling demo. This is banana outside the box.

In other news... I stayed raw today, except for the Ezekiel tortillas I made with the hummus at dinner. Oops the chick peas weren't raw either. What's a girl to do but congratulate herself anyway? Really, this is such an improvement and steps in the right direction that I can't help but feel so happy with myself.  Anyway, here is our beautiful meal:

Speaking of happy, that is my goal, always. I have been misguided in my search for understanding, insight, reason, meaning. That led to mucho naval gazing and depression. Now, I reach for happiness. Whatever makes me happy, I am all about it. The rest follows.

So what makes me happy? Well, gratitude produces happy feelings, to be sure. In fact, that's been the straightest path to happiness I've ever found.

I'm going to start a 'photo' list, in no particular order, of things that make me happy.  I'll try to end the blog posts with these.  So to start...here are a couple of goofballs that make me really, really happy!

my pets, Ruby the cat, and Gracie the dog....

and the day these two met.  I took this photo the moment I placed Gracie on the floor with Ruby.  Ruby was 4 months old, and Gracie was 8 weeks.  They've been fast friends ever since!

What are you grateful for, Rawkers?  :)

xo

Rawkin'

Stuff about raw, stuff about other stuff...

Not much to report...headache-y day...lounging about...

I figured I would make a giant batch of green lemonade in my juicer...the equivalent of what I make when I juice it for my boyfriend and I. In other words, so that I could have BOTH big glasses of green lemonade. (Celebrating not sharing!)

This means I juiced a very large head of romaine, a couple handfuls of mixed greens, 3 small apples and 2 small lemons.

I loved it when I drank it, both glasses...but then, I got hit with a headache within a half hour or so, and it has stayed with me the day.

Is this drink as potent and cleansing as this...that it would throw me 'head first' into detox? Really? It's all I could come up with...but I am not sure. Yesterday was raw, and for that matter, over a week before Christmas was raw, too. But this is more green lemonade than I've ever drank at once. I have had it spaced through the day, but not in 2 'big gulps' sized glasses.

Subsequently I was a big blob today, a tv-watching, napping, layabout. It's not helping that I have no car these days...but usually I find things to do that have nothing to do with going out. So, not sure what's up. I did do a bunch of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and cleared up a few issues (Issues! Gesundheit!). Did walk the dog, who I am sure can't wait for Mummy's energy to return!!

Walked her to the store, where I picked up bananas, apples, more greens. Hey, the other day a friend of mine reminded me of something I'd learned a while back but had forgotten...it's kinda cool.

You know how we're all used to peeling a banana from the top down? Well, if you turn the banana upside down, pinch the bottom, it easily peels and then you can use the 'top' (now the bottom) as a handle. Totally goofy banana peeling demo. This is banana outside the box.

In other news... I stayed raw today, except for the Ezekiel tortillas I made with the hummus at dinner. Oops the chick peas weren't raw either. What's a girl to do but congratulate herself anyway? Really, this is such an improvement and steps in the right direction that I can't help but feel so happy with myself.  Anyway, here is our beautiful meal:

Speaking of happy, that is my goal, always. I have been misguided in my search for understanding, insight, reason, meaning. That led to mucho naval gazing and depression. Now, I reach for happiness. Whatever makes me happy, I am all about it. The rest follows.

So what makes me happy? Well, gratitude produces happy feelings, to be sure. In fact, that's been the straightest path to happiness I've ever found.

I'm going to start a 'photo' list, in no particular order, of things that make me happy.  I'll try to end the blog posts with these.  So to start...here are a couple of goofballs that make me really, really happy!

my pets, Ruby the cat, and Gracie the dog....

and the day these two met.  I took this photo the moment I placed Gracie on the floor with Ruby.  Ruby was 4 months old, and Gracie was 8 weeks.  They've been fast friends ever since!

What are you grateful for, Rawkers?  :)

xo

Rawkin'

Life is sweeter than a date nut torte!

Holy blast from the past, Batman!!!!!!!  I forgot I ever looked like this.  I said to Steve, "Aw, man, I look so young and healthy..."  and he said, "You are younger, but you weren't healthy...you were smoking, and eating junk!  You're way ahead now!" 
I needed to hear that.

Me, with my widdle baby, Leon (who is now about to turn 21)

My goodness...just when I was starting to toughen up from all that maudlin old-photos-baby-book-reading-Christmas-goo...and my dear, old friend sends me these photos from his visit here 20 years ago.  Cue big sobs.  Seriously, I've been a Christmess this year.

Big sigh.  I'm either poised for greatness or on the brink of a melt-down...they are oddly similar feelings.  I choose greatness!  I've spent too many years in meltdown.  Besides, things are about to get back to normal, what with folks (Steve) returning to work, and the whole Christmas thing winding down. 

Oh wait, there's still New Year's.  Well...ok, a little more weirdness until we can get on with it, then.

Today, we did our shiny bests to get on with it in our own fashion... RAW!!

We started the day with a green lemonade...YAY!!!  SO refreshing, it's unreal.  We just 'AAAAAAHHHH' about it for a good 5 minutes after we drink it. Mmmm Mmmmm. 

Then, we were on our way to our rehearsal studio and we were just turning into the drive and Steve said, "Oh, shit, I forgot the keys!"  So we decided to just rehearse at home, since it was just the two of us (the band is coming back in with us next week.) 

We spent the day with me learning our songs on guitar.  I played for about 3 1/2 hours and my fingers are in the process of toughening up...you know, the part before they callous, the part where they're still owee!  Love it, though!  I'm just learning to play and my goal is to be playing our songs on stage by our next tour in May.  So far, so good.  I'm having a blast!  And we're actually getting somewhere; I can play a few of our songs now, as I sing along. Other than a little banjo, I've always been a singer, so this is new, and rather liberating!  Steve said, "We'll have to get you a good guitar."  I said, "As long as it's blue.  No, black!"  He just rolled his eyes and said, "I see you shop for guitars the way you shop for cars!"

*************

After rehearsal, Steve made some avocado fries and popped them in the dehydrator...and here's what they look like 'done'...well, what's left of them...they are so damn good!

while I made us a baby spinach salad with cucumber, tomato, and broccoli sprouts...

and a date nut torte for dessert. This stuff is sooooo sweet, that the slice you see here had to be eaten in two sittings.  Delicious, though!!  The blueberries (or any fruit) really helps cut the sweetness.  They were frozen when I put them on, and just perfect a little while later after spending time in the fridge.  This whole desert is only 4 ingredients...dates, raisins, walnuts, and lemon juice...and 5 if you count the topping.  So simple, and it takes all of 5 minutes or so to make. 

We're both very happy to be raw, and in the 'right' mindset for it again, after the blip of Christmas eating. 

It's a relief, really!  And fun to be in on it together. 

xo

Rawkin'

Life is sweeter than a date nut torte!

Holy blast from the past, Batman!!!!!!!  I forgot I ever looked like this.  I said to Steve, "Aw, man, I look so young and healthy..."  and he said, "You are younger, but you weren't healthy...you were smoking, and eating junk!  You're way ahead now!" 
I needed to hear that.

Me, with my widdle baby, Leon (who is now about to turn 21)

My goodness...just when I was starting to toughen up from all that maudlin old-photos-baby-book-reading-Christmas-goo...and my dear, old friend sends me these photos from his visit here 20 years ago.  Cue big sobs.  Seriously, I've been a Christmess this year.

Big sigh.  I'm either poised for greatness or on the brink of a melt-down...they are oddly similar feelings.  I choose greatness!  I've spent too many years in meltdown.  Besides, things are about to get back to normal, what with folks (Steve) returning to work, and the whole Christmas thing winding down. 

Oh wait, there's still New Year's.  Well...ok, a little more weirdness until we can get on with it, then.

Today, we did our shiny bests to get on with it in our own fashion... RAW!!

We started the day with a green lemonade...YAY!!!  SO refreshing, it's unreal.  We just 'AAAAAAHHHH' about it for a good 5 minutes after we drink it. Mmmm Mmmmm. 

Then, we were on our way to our rehearsal studio and we were just turning into the drive and Steve said, "Oh, shit, I forgot the keys!"  So we decided to just rehearse at home, since it was just the two of us (the band is coming back in with us next week.) 

We spent the day with me learning our songs on guitar.  I played for about 3 1/2 hours and my fingers are in the process of toughening up...you know, the part before they callous, the part where they're still owee!  Love it, though!  I'm just learning to play and my goal is to be playing our songs on stage by our next tour in May.  So far, so good.  I'm having a blast!  And we're actually getting somewhere; I can play a few of our songs now, as I sing along. Other than a little banjo, I've always been a singer, so this is new, and rather liberating!  Steve said, "We'll have to get you a good guitar."  I said, "As long as it's blue.  No, black!"  He just rolled his eyes and said, "I see you shop for guitars the way you shop for cars!"

*************

After rehearsal, Steve made some avocado fries and popped them in the dehydrator...and here's what they look like 'done'...well, what's left of them...they are so damn good!

while I made us a baby spinach salad with cucumber, tomato, and broccoli sprouts...

and a date nut torte for dessert. This stuff is sooooo sweet, that the slice you see here had to be eaten in two sittings.  Delicious, though!!  The blueberries (or any fruit) really helps cut the sweetness.  They were frozen when I put them on, and just perfect a little while later after spending time in the fridge.  This whole desert is only 4 ingredients...dates, raisins, walnuts, and lemon juice...and 5 if you count the topping.  So simple, and it takes all of 5 minutes or so to make. 

We're both very happy to be raw, and in the 'right' mindset for it again, after the blip of Christmas eating. 

It's a relief, really!  And fun to be in on it together. 

xo

Rawkin'

And we're back...

Swedish Speed Bump Sign

Omigosh, I was so grumpy today!  Wha 'happened to that fun-lovin' Christmas girl?  lol

Could be all that cooked food.  I have made that SAD food/angry the next day connection before...

Ah, well, this too shall pass.  Tomorrow, the grocery store will have its regular hours again and I can load up on my beloved produce.  All my cells are keenly anticipating green lemonade, fruit, green smoothies, and salads.  Bring it ON; I'm so ready.

Yesterday was so lovely in every way, and I enjoyed the foods at the time, and it was all part of the celebration for me, being connected, etc. 

There was a Christmas...or was it a Thanksgiving...where I prepped an entire raw meal and brought that while everyone else was doing the usual thing, and I may do that again down the road...but this year, it wasn't possible, so I went with the flow rather than stress about it. 

And I don't regret it.  Even today's grumpiness...pretty great reminder that all that angst fades when I keep to mostly raw foods. Raw foods are so healing.

Honestly, the moment you make the decision to turn your attention to raw foods and health, it feels like your cells change.  I know they say Thank You!!

I've been so happily raw again, and Christmas was just a speed bump; one day.  Back at it, Baby!  Just pickin' up where we left off on the 24th.  I'm doing great and feeling fabu!!  If you've 'taken Christmas off' with your eating, it's not all lost.  Not at all!  Just keep going now!  Come with me!

xo
Rawkin'

And we're back...

Swedish Speed Bump Sign

Omigosh, I was so grumpy today!  Wha 'happened to that fun-lovin' Christmas girl?  lol

Could be all that cooked food.  I have made that SAD food/angry the next day connection before...

Ah, well, this too shall pass.  Tomorrow, the grocery store will have its regular hours again and I can load up on my beloved produce.  All my cells are keenly anticipating green lemonade, fruit, green smoothies, and salads.  Bring it ON; I'm so ready.

Yesterday was so lovely in every way, and I enjoyed the foods at the time, and it was all part of the celebration for me, being connected, etc. 

There was a Christmas...or was it a Thanksgiving...where I prepped an entire raw meal and brought that while everyone else was doing the usual thing, and I may do that again down the road...but this year, it wasn't possible, so I went with the flow rather than stress about it. 

And I don't regret it.  Even today's grumpiness...pretty great reminder that all that angst fades when I keep to mostly raw foods. Raw foods are so healing.

Honestly, the moment you make the decision to turn your attention to raw foods and health, it feels like your cells change.  I know they say Thank You!!

I've been so happily raw again, and Christmas was just a speed bump; one day.  Back at it, Baby!  Just pickin' up where we left off on the 24th.  I'm doing great and feeling fabu!!  If you've 'taken Christmas off' with your eating, it's not all lost.  Not at all!  Just keep going now!  Come with me!

xo
Rawkin'

Merry Chwithmath!

Well, I had the best Christmas...the most perfect of days!  We were absolutely surrounded by love and laughs and music...family & friends, young & old, all groovin' along together, having the time of our lives!

I'm so in love with my family!!  Omg they're a riot.  Pretty 'out there' bunch who love each other to the ends of the earth.  We are so casual, everyone on cushions on the floor, or on a couch, or at the table, just folks everywhere...with plates on their laps, chatting away, sometimes tete-a-tete, sometimes to the whole group.

As nontraditional as we are, we had the traditional Christmas feast, and I enjoyed every Standard American Diet bit of it, and seconds.  I just let loose and felt great about it.  I brought my raw brownies and they were an over-the-top hit!

I would have loved a coffee, and I'm delighted that I resisted the urge. 

I would have loved a toke, because I associate it with celebrating, but I'm so glad it wasn't even an issue.

Lots of folks were drinking, but it was easy to pass there, as I feel so removed from that old part of my life. 

So...with the stuff that would have really set me back, I held strong to my convictions, and I know that that was the right thing to do, and a 'wrong' turn there would have meant a real big struggle at the end of a downward spiral of addictive issues.

So I cut myself slack in the food department, and I enjoyed every bit of it.  And tomorrow, or maybe the next day, I will get right back on the horse and start my day with a green lemonade and just pick it up again.  My youngest son made me laugh when I was saying to someone in the kitchen...Well this has been heaven...and my boy piped in, "and tomorrow you go back to hellllll-th.  lol

We had a big music jam at the end of the meal and it was such a great time, pickin' tunes and singin' with friends and family. 

I'm absolutely swollen with gratitude at the gifts these beautiful folks are in my life. and turkey.

I sure hope you had a fabulous Christmas with your family and friends, and that whatever you ate, you found joy in it!

xo
Rawkn'

Merry Chwithmath!

Well, I had the best Christmas...the most perfect of days!  We were absolutely surrounded by love and laughs and music...family & friends, young & old, all groovin' along together, having the time of our lives!

I'm so in love with my family!!  Omg they're a riot.  Pretty 'out there' bunch who love each other to the ends of the earth.  We are so casual, everyone on cushions on the floor, or on a couch, or at the table, just folks everywhere...with plates on their laps, chatting away, sometimes tete-a-tete, sometimes to the whole group.

As nontraditional as we are, we had the traditional Christmas feast, and I enjoyed every Standard American Diet bit of it, and seconds.  I just let loose and felt great about it.  I brought my raw brownies and they were an over-the-top hit!

I would have loved a coffee, and I'm delighted that I resisted the urge. 

I would have loved a toke, because I associate it with celebrating, but I'm so glad it wasn't even an issue.

Lots of folks were drinking, but it was easy to pass there, as I feel so removed from that old part of my life. 

So...with the stuff that would have really set me back, I held strong to my convictions, and I know that that was the right thing to do, and a 'wrong' turn there would have meant a real big struggle at the end of a downward spiral of addictive issues.

So I cut myself slack in the food department, and I enjoyed every bit of it.  And tomorrow, or maybe the next day, I will get right back on the horse and start my day with a green lemonade and just pick it up again.  My youngest son made me laugh when I was saying to someone in the kitchen...Well this has been heaven...and my boy piped in, "and tomorrow you go back to hellllll-th.  lol

We had a big music jam at the end of the meal and it was such a great time, pickin' tunes and singin' with friends and family. 

I'm absolutely swollen with gratitude at the gifts these beautiful folks are in my life. and turkey.

I sure hope you had a fabulous Christmas with your family and friends, and that whatever you ate, you found joy in it!

xo
Rawkn'

Sentimental Journey...

What do you get when you cross emotional detox and Christmas?  ;)  sigh...

Wow, I have been a big, emotional blob tonight.  It started when...no...it was before that...

It started when I got pregnant with my first child, almost 21 years ago... and tonight, in looking through old photos, I brought it all to life again.  Man, my kids were so freakin' CUTE and I was so young!  I demand to know where the time went?!

As if that wasn't gooey enough, I read every entry I'd written in a book called 'Beginning Together...a Diary of Discovery for You & Your Baby'.  OMG.  It asks personal, though-provoking questions about pregnancy, labor & delivery, and the baby's first few months: his habits, behaviors, cute things, sleeping and eating patterns...and MAMA puts down all her thoughts. 

Well, about an hour later, I could hardly breathe through my nose from balling my eyes out. 

I called my son Leon  and said, "Hody cow, Leod, I just read your baby book and guess what, turds out you've always resisted sleep and were always really smart!"

And my boy said, "Have you been crying?"

I told him, yeah...this just made me so sentimental.  Guess it's all that Christmas shiite. LOL

And he asked me to bring it over on Christmas day so he can take a look at it. 

Then guess what?

I felt like eating complete junk-food garbage.  Chips, take-out, you name it, I pictured shoveling it in.  I pictured it so well, I figure my body thinks I ate it.  Wow, tell me there's no emotional connection, heh?  In the end I shook it off and made a big salad.  Well, I didn't shake it alllll off, because I indulged in some of those ice chocolates that I had bought for the kids' stocking stuffers.

This is the first year that the boys, who are both about to have birthdays and turn 18 and 21 (OMG) have told me that it's not about the presents...that they're just really looking forward to having family & friends over to hang out. 

While I'm knocked over by their maturity, I am also experiencing some feelings of loss.  I still want to spoil the shit out of them.  Where did my babies go?  blubber blubber. 

I'm feeling as maudlin as a Christmas drunk tonight, without the benefit of a buzz.  lmao.  I'll be o-tay.  I always am. 

Blubber Blubber!

xo
Rawkin'

Sentimental Journey...

What do you get when you cross emotional detox and Christmas?  ;)  sigh...

Wow, I have been a big, emotional blob tonight.  It started when...no...it was before that...

It started when I got pregnant with my first child, almost 21 years ago... and tonight, in looking through old photos, I brought it all to life again.  Man, my kids were so freakin' CUTE and I was so young!  I demand to know where the time went?!

As if that wasn't gooey enough, I read every entry I'd written in a book called 'Beginning Together...a Diary of Discovery for You & Your Baby'.  OMG.  It asks personal, though-provoking questions about pregnancy, labor & delivery, and the baby's first few months: his habits, behaviors, cute things, sleeping and eating patterns...and MAMA puts down all her thoughts. 

Well, about an hour later, I could hardly breathe through my nose from balling my eyes out. 

I called my son Leon  and said, "Hody cow, Leod, I just read your baby book and guess what, turds out you've always resisted sleep and were always really smart!"

And my boy said, "Have you been crying?"

I told him, yeah...this just made me so sentimental.  Guess it's all that Christmas shiite. LOL

And he asked me to bring it over on Christmas day so he can take a look at it. 

Then guess what?

I felt like eating complete junk-food garbage.  Chips, take-out, you name it, I pictured shoveling it in.  I pictured it so well, I figure my body thinks I ate it.  Wow, tell me there's no emotional connection, heh?  In the end I shook it off and made a big salad.  Well, I didn't shake it alllll off, because I indulged in some of those ice chocolates that I had bought for the kids' stocking stuffers.

This is the first year that the boys, who are both about to have birthdays and turn 18 and 21 (OMG) have told me that it's not about the presents...that they're just really looking forward to having family & friends over to hang out. 

While I'm knocked over by their maturity, I am also experiencing some feelings of loss.  I still want to spoil the shit out of them.  Where did my babies go?  blubber blubber. 

I'm feeling as maudlin as a Christmas drunk tonight, without the benefit of a buzz.  lmao.  I'll be o-tay.  I always am. 

Blubber Blubber!

xo
Rawkin'

Tacos and Christmas Dinner Musings

I woke up to the dog staring at me, and 'talking' as Mastiffs are wont to do.  They kinda sound like Charlie Brown's teacher, like they're really trying to form words but only wah wah wah comes out.  It was a sweet alarm clock, and made me smile.  I was glad she woke me, because I instantly remembered that I had to get to the grocery store because I needed ingredients for the Russell James Tortillas...and they needed 8 hours in the dehydrator if we were to eat dinner at a reasonable hour.

So I got up, straightened myself out somewhat and walked my happy dog to the grocery store down the street.  This place is so close, I'm there so often, and they all recognize me in there, it's a wonder I didn't just pad down there in my slippers, lol. 

Ooh slippers.  My boyfriend just got me some seriously kick-ass slippers.  Faux lamb-lined and so toasty.  They're so big they fit him, and I love a big floppy, goofy slipper.  They're perfect.  I wear big thick socks with them and once, I put them on the wrong feet and didn't notice walking half way to the washroom.  That's how big they are.  I lurve them.  They have soles, too, so no more walking in dog goo from her water bowls.

Anyway, I came back from the store and made tortillas, because for dinner I wanted to make a 'taco' recipe I just found last night. (On the recipes page, they are called falafel tortillas, and are the 7th recipe down the page.)

For the taco recipe, I used less onion and less jalapeno than it said to, but I otherwise stuck to it and it was good. 

Crunchy Taco by Leslie Oakes 

My boyfriend *loved* it, and I like it, but it was not really my thing.  I think if I'd had more time, I would have dehydrated the taco mixture to soak up the wetness of it.  The flavor was lovely, though.

The tortillas, though, were perfection.

The little purple-ish blobs are sour cream.  Don't know why it comes out this color, but it always does.  It's made with cashews.  It's on the Dips page, and tastes absolutely wonderful.

As you can see, one was more than enough for a meal, I made them quite large! 

Why, then, did I indulge in some SAD popcorn later and a few SAD chocolates while watching a Christmas movie?  lol

Speaking of SAD foods and Christmas...

I was thinking of bringing a big giant salad, and eating that first, then using a small plate rather than a dinner plate, and focusing mostly on steamed veggies (we are not big sauce or butter slatherers anyway, so there will be 'naked' steamed veggies) and a slice of turkey.  For dessert, I will bring The Brownies and a raw apple pie.

Then the next day, get straight back to juicing and raw-ing and continue on down my path. 

As I typed that, I realize that I could be la-la-la-ing myself into a trap...you know, the ol' 'we crave whatever is in our bloodstream' trap, so that this one 'innocent' indulgence could derail me.  I sure don't want that. 

Hmmm... I think what I'll do is make and take as many raw options as I have time to make between now and then.  I can always EFT away the fantastic Christmas dinner smells, right?  Lol that sounds so pathetic!  lmao

What are you doing about Christmas eating?

xo

Rawkin'

Tacos and Christmas Dinner Musings

I woke up to the dog staring at me, and 'talking' as Mastiffs are wont to do.  They kinda sound like Charlie Brown's teacher, like they're really trying to form words but only wah wah wah comes out.  It was a sweet alarm clock, and made me smile.  I was glad she woke me, because I instantly remembered that I had to get to the grocery store because I needed ingredients for the Russell James Tortillas...and they needed 8 hours in the dehydrator if we were to eat dinner at a reasonable hour.

So I got up, straightened myself out somewhat and walked my happy dog to the grocery store down the street.  This place is so close, I'm there so often, and they all recognize me in there, it's a wonder I didn't just pad down there in my slippers, lol. 

Ooh slippers.  My boyfriend just got me some seriously kick-ass slippers.  Faux lamb-lined and so toasty.  They're so big they fit him, and I love a big floppy, goofy slipper.  They're perfect.  I wear big thick socks with them and once, I put them on the wrong feet and didn't notice walking half way to the washroom.  That's how big they are.  I lurve them.  They have soles, too, so no more walking in dog goo from her water bowls.

Anyway, I came back from the store and made tortillas, because for dinner I wanted to make a 'taco' recipe I just found last night. (On the recipes page, they are called falafel tortillas, and are the 7th recipe down the page.)

For the taco recipe, I used less onion and less jalapeno than it said to, but I otherwise stuck to it and it was good. 

Crunchy Taco by Leslie Oakes 

My boyfriend *loved* it, and I like it, but it was not really my thing.  I think if I'd had more time, I would have dehydrated the taco mixture to soak up the wetness of it.  The flavor was lovely, though.

The tortillas, though, were perfection.

The little purple-ish blobs are sour cream.  Don't know why it comes out this color, but it always does.  It's made with cashews.  It's on the Dips page, and tastes absolutely wonderful.

As you can see, one was more than enough for a meal, I made them quite large! 

Why, then, did I indulge in some SAD popcorn later and a few SAD chocolates while watching a Christmas movie?  lol

Speaking of SAD foods and Christmas...

I was thinking of bringing a big giant salad, and eating that first, then using a small plate rather than a dinner plate, and focusing mostly on steamed veggies (we are not big sauce or butter slatherers anyway, so there will be 'naked' steamed veggies) and a slice of turkey.  For dessert, I will bring The Brownies and a raw apple pie.

Then the next day, get straight back to juicing and raw-ing and continue on down my path. 

As I typed that, I realize that I could be la-la-la-ing myself into a trap...you know, the ol' 'we crave whatever is in our bloodstream' trap, so that this one 'innocent' indulgence could derail me.  I sure don't want that. 

Hmmm... I think what I'll do is make and take as many raw options as I have time to make between now and then.  I can always EFT away the fantastic Christmas dinner smells, right?  Lol that sounds so pathetic!  lmao

What are you doing about Christmas eating?

xo

Rawkin'

Sleepy Monday

Wow, what can I say about today?

I slept most of it, much to my poor dog's chagrin.  She was so bored.  Usually 'mummy' takes her for nice walkies and gives her treats and rubs her belly and spends a lot of time generally making out with her, kissing those big floppy jowls and lovin' 'er up.  My Girlie.  But today, ol' Gracie was on her own. 

She woke me up, and I assumed it was to pee, so I threw on a robe and slippers and took her outside.  She peed, but then started scampering in that gleeful mad 5 minutes kind of way, and I just wasn't feelin' it.  So I called her back inside, ate two bananas, and went back to bed.

I slept on and off, only getting up to pee and sometimes watching tv (from my bed! So sweet!) then drifting off again.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have entered detox.   Rawkin' Unplugged.

Some point in the afternoon, I got up and made a raw green soup.  Just had a big hankerin' to, so I done did it. 

I took the vita-mix out and threw in spinach, a tomato, a small garlic clove, a chunk of cucumber, a little green cabbage, some dino kale, avocado, a tsp of miso, a healthy sprinkle of dulse flakes.  I just made it up as I went a long and damn, it wasn't half bad!  I'd even say, it was really good. :)

Then I went back to bed!  I guess you could say I'm allowing this because what would be the point in fighting it?  Oh sure, there are a couple voices in my head urging me to DO something, but I just relax and realize that I AM doing something.  I'm not a lazy person.  I've got a lot on the go, many varied creative interests and endeavours, so when I have a few slowed-down days, I think I can 'run' with it, honestly.

I did phone my boyfriend, when I was finally outside at 3 pm, because the poor dog was going to poop in her fur coat if I didn't take her for a walk... and said, "I'm embarrassed to tell you this, here you are working your butt off...but I've been sleeping on and off all day!"

He just said, "Good!  You're detoxing!  Way to go, Luce!!  This always happens, remember?"

Really?  This much?  He assured me that this was a great sign, and congratulated me on really goin' for it. 

I hung up rather relieved for the loving reminder.  It's so great to get a shot of perspective when in the midst of something. 

He told me he was on his way home, so I got my act together and cleaned up the kitchen and threw the last of the fajitas in the dehydrator.

When he got home, I made us a green lemonade which we drank right away.  About a half hour later, we were faj-eatin' and chatting about his day. 

It's just after 10 pm now, and I'm not too tired...no wonder there... and I am going to take my doggy for a walk!

xo

Rawkin'

Sleepy Monday

Wow, what can I say about today?

I slept most of it, much to my poor dog's chagrin.  She was so bored.  Usually 'mummy' takes her for nice walkies and gives her treats and rubs her belly and spends a lot of time generally making out with her, kissing those big floppy jowls and lovin' 'er up.  My Girlie.  But today, ol' Gracie was on her own. 

She woke me up, and I assumed it was to pee, so I threw on a robe and slippers and took her outside.  She peed, but then started scampering in that gleeful mad 5 minutes kind of way, and I just wasn't feelin' it.  So I called her back inside, ate two bananas, and went back to bed.

I slept on and off, only getting up to pee and sometimes watching tv (from my bed! So sweet!) then drifting off again.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have entered detox.   Rawkin' Unplugged.

Some point in the afternoon, I got up and made a raw green soup.  Just had a big hankerin' to, so I done did it. 

I took the vita-mix out and threw in spinach, a tomato, a small garlic clove, a chunk of cucumber, a little green cabbage, some dino kale, avocado, a tsp of miso, a healthy sprinkle of dulse flakes.  I just made it up as I went a long and damn, it wasn't half bad!  I'd even say, it was really good. :)

Then I went back to bed!  I guess you could say I'm allowing this because what would be the point in fighting it?  Oh sure, there are a couple voices in my head urging me to DO something, but I just relax and realize that I AM doing something.  I'm not a lazy person.  I've got a lot on the go, many varied creative interests and endeavours, so when I have a few slowed-down days, I think I can 'run' with it, honestly.

I did phone my boyfriend, when I was finally outside at 3 pm, because the poor dog was going to poop in her fur coat if I didn't take her for a walk... and said, "I'm embarrassed to tell you this, here you are working your butt off...but I've been sleeping on and off all day!"

He just said, "Good!  You're detoxing!  Way to go, Luce!!  This always happens, remember?"

Really?  This much?  He assured me that this was a great sign, and congratulated me on really goin' for it. 

I hung up rather relieved for the loving reminder.  It's so great to get a shot of perspective when in the midst of something. 

He told me he was on his way home, so I got my act together and cleaned up the kitchen and threw the last of the fajitas in the dehydrator.

When he got home, I made us a green lemonade which we drank right away.  About a half hour later, we were faj-eatin' and chatting about his day. 

It's just after 10 pm now, and I'm not too tired...no wonder there... and I am going to take my doggy for a walk!

xo

Rawkin'