As I'm writing this, my heavy heart is lifting some, and I'm brightened by the idea of getting my own apartment. I haven't found one yet, but my search is hopeful. The thought of setting up my own little nest is appealing, after these past two months of ... oh, let's just say it... HELL. ;)
I've been put in the position to move on, so move on I must. It's going from 'unthinkable' to 'doable'. So progress is being made. Don't get me wrong: I can still melt into a puddle of tears at the dangdest times. Like the other night when I ran into people we knew, and they innocently asked where we were performing next, and I had to tell them we wouldn't be. Well, they of course, were shocked, and said what everyone else says: "But I thought you were the perfect couple!!" (Yeah, me too...) Anyway, I was fine until I got back to my van, and just started to miss him so incredibly that I sobbed for a long, long time.
Sigh. So there are moments like that where it just grips me, but overall, I'm heading in the right direction with this whole thing: away from attachment to him and into developing relationship with myself.
So that's the Emo Update. ;)
Work is going great. I've made some wonderful connections there, and it makes going in at 9 a.m. a pleasure. Learning tons, too. I'm a great 'spreader' now ;)... meaning I can spread a mean cracker. Learning some good tips and tricks of the trade. Two words: Offset Spatula.
One of the perks is getting a little shot glass of smoothie or green juice here and there through the day, as the juice bar girls have a little left over here and there. It's such a pick-me-up, I love it!!
I'm losing weight like crazy from having a smoothie for lunch and sometimes a salad. I'm running all day at this job, and like to take a late lunch, so I find that this one smoothie, called a "Super" (short for Supercalifragilisticespialidocious, lol) fills me right up. The bonus is that it tastes like a chocolate shake! (But it's full of superfoods.) So I feel like a million after one of those, and full to boot. Then, at dinner, I just eat what's put in front of me.
I say it like that because I'm currently couch-surfing, so I can't be picky about what's for dinner these days. I'm grateful to eat and sit with lovely folks.
So, in spite of e v e r y t h i n g... life is good. I appreciate my family, my friends, and lo and behold, myself. ha! I'm learning that I can do a lot of stuff I used to pass on to him to do, and I am diggin' it. Life/lemons/lemonade, all that.
Love you guys,