Saturday, 2 October 2010

Movin' on...

Hey Folks,

As I'm writing this, my heavy heart is lifting some, and I'm brightened by the idea of getting my own apartment.  I haven't found one yet, but my search is hopeful.  The thought of setting up my own little nest is appealing, after these past two months of ... oh, let's just say it... HELL.  ;) 

I've been put in the position to move on, so move on I must.  It's going from 'unthinkable' to 'doable'.  So progress is being made.  Don't get me wrong:  I can still melt into a puddle of tears at the dangdest times.  Like the other night when I ran into people we knew, and they innocently asked where we were performing next, and I had to tell them we wouldn't be.  Well, they of course, were shocked, and said what everyone else says:   "But I thought you were the perfect couple!!"  (Yeah, me too...)  Anyway, I was fine until I got back to my van, and just started to miss him so incredibly that I sobbed for a long, long time. 

Sigh.  So there are moments like that where it just grips me, but overall, I'm heading in the right direction with this whole thing:  away from attachment to him and into developing relationship with myself.

So that's the Emo Update. ;)


Work is going great.  I've made some wonderful connections there, and it makes going in at 9 a.m. a pleasure.  Learning tons, too.  I'm a great 'spreader' now ;)... meaning I can spread a mean cracker.  Learning some good tips and tricks of the trade.  Two words:  Offset Spatula.

One of the perks is getting a little shot glass of smoothie or green juice here and there through the day, as the juice bar girls have a little left over here and there.  It's such a pick-me-up, I love it!! 

I'm losing weight like crazy from having a smoothie for lunch and sometimes a salad.  I'm running all day at this job, and like to take a late lunch, so I find that this one smoothie, called a "Super" (short for Supercalifragilisticespialidocious, lol) fills me right up.  The bonus is that it tastes like a chocolate shake!  (But it's full of superfoods.)  So I feel like a million after one of those, and full to boot.  Then, at dinner, I just eat what's put in front of me.

I say it like that because I'm currently couch-surfing, so I can't be picky about what's for dinner these days.  I'm grateful to eat and sit with lovely folks.

So, in spite of e v e r y t h i n g... life is good.  I appreciate my family, my friends, and lo and behold, myself.  ha!  I'm learning that I can do a lot of stuff I used to pass on to him to do, and I am diggin' it.  Life/lemons/lemonade, all that.

Love you guys,


Antony said...

sending you best wishes x

Rawkin' said...

You are always so kind to me, Antony. Thank you xoxoxo
Best wishes back atcha.


Stefania said...

What a wonderful attitude. It sounds like you're in a good spot despite everything going on.

Tara said...

You inspire me, Lucie. You are such a beauty and such a classy broad. P.S. Move here and we can start a band!

Anonymous said...

hey babe, glad to see you are moving thru what is a hella challenging time for anyone to handle. Always on your side. xxx


Jentree said...

You do RAWK!! You are in my thoughts and prayers during your transition {{hug}}

BJ in TX said...

Glad to see a post - you sound good, girl! Finding a new place to settle will be great fun, and some might even say very therapeutic...tho I don't necessarily know those folks. (LOL)

Jen said...

I'm munchin' on avo, carrot, broccoli, cucumber and a pile o' tabouli on spinach leaves as I read this. You've always inspried. You continue to do so. Love you much! xoxox Bee

PeterHHaller said...

Hi I hope you will allow his leaving to be a gift to you both,after 15 years of the door hitting me on the A$$ and my ex-spouse saying you'll never find someone like me again I said thank you Jesus. Rawkin new starts can only happen from old endings. So treat your self to what ever brings you Joy and Love and Go for it. Thanks for sharing your Blog I enjoy every morsel. Be Well Always

Anonymous said...

I think Peter said it best ;D

Loving you from across the miles (insert cornball but trueball motel landscape print here)


Dani xo

m c narwal said...

Hey I know you haven't really updated this in a while, but I was cruising through some of your recipes (just brainstorming really) and wanted to wish you a warm holiday season whatever you happen to be eating. You are an inspiring individual and I hope wherever you are in your life transition know you'll always the support you need (from within in addition to the external)
rawk on < 3


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