What Kind of F*ckery is This?

Ok what?? So now there are reports flying that organic is not better.

How is it not better NOT to eat pesticides?

What a dim-witted and dangerous report.

What Kind of F*ckery is This?

Ok what?? So now there are reports flying that organic is not better.

How is it not better NOT to eat pesticides?

What a dim-witted and dangerous report.

Bub-Eye Coffee

Well now... quit coffee again yesterday, and got a full-on headache. I had quit for 8 months, then with the start of this new cd project, this bad habit crept back in. But I've really felt quite awful in comparison to when I didn't drink it, so it was time to bid it adieu once again.

The ways in which it makes me feel awful: drum roll into tmi...my boobs get lumpy and sore, for one.

Another is how dopey I feel upon waking...until I get some coffee in me...now, if that's not a drug, I don't know what is.

Also, my fatigue later in the day was a direct result of how much coffee I had in the morning...if 2 cups made me 'wake up' in the morning, I was twice as tired in the afternoon. Who needs an energy zapper like that??

I would aim for one cup in the morning, but usually, another cup would creep in before dinner...again, with this wacky recording schedule, it was a welcome jolt...but it crept in more and more until I felt like a$$, basically more or less all the time.

My dependence on it, combined with this crappy, energy-zapped feeling made the decision to quit again a no-brainer.

So thar ya go. A step in the right direction!!

Bub-Eye Coffee

Well now... quit coffee again yesterday, and got a full-on headache. I had quit for 8 months, then with the start of this new cd project, this bad habit crept back in. But I've really felt quite awful in comparison to when I didn't drink it, so it was time to bid it adieu once again.

The ways in which it makes me feel awful: drum roll into tmi...my boobs get lumpy and sore, for one.

Another is how dopey I feel upon waking...until I get some coffee in me...now, if that's not a drug, I don't know what is.

Also, my fatigue later in the day was a direct result of how much coffee I had in the morning...if 2 cups made me 'wake up' in the morning, I was twice as tired in the afternoon. Who needs an energy zapper like that??

I would aim for one cup in the morning, but usually, another cup would creep in before dinner...again, with this wacky recording schedule, it was a welcome jolt...but it crept in more and more until I felt like a$$, basically more or less all the time.

My dependence on it, combined with this crappy, energy-zapped feeling made the decision to quit again a no-brainer.

So thar ya go. A step in the right direction!!

Fallible, Musical, Me

I'm so not on my game but I'm so on my other game!! I've been recording our second CD, which is nearing completion. I've re-built our music website, I'm gigging all over the place, I'm booking a 7 week tour, I'm designing the cd cover & booklet... and... you guessed it, I'm eating like crapola! I've even taken up coffee again.

I've been thinking about raw...does that count? I've had so many false starts, but damn it, I keep coming back. This blog reads like...well...like a fallible human wrote it.

I believe in raw, in nutrional healing, in the energy and health it provides. So why do I spend time in Sabotageville?

Someone recently asked me what it's like to be a raw musician, and I had to anwer honestly that I've yet to combine the two. It's been one or the other so far. While I dream of being slim and healthy and energetic on stage, I have only, so far, performed with a good layer on me. Is it protection? You know, how women sometimes... I tend to think so.

Who would I be if I rawked AND rolled?

lol

Anyway, here's what I'm spending my time on...music. And here's what I exactly look like today. I'm not my "After" photo anymore...or yet again...or something. But I want to share my love of singing with you, as I am today.

Fallible, Musical, Me

I'm so not on my game but I'm so on my other game!! I've been recording our second CD, which is nearing completion. I've re-built our music website, I'm gigging all over the place, I'm booking a 7 week tour, I'm designing the cd cover & booklet... and... you guessed it, I'm eating like crapola! I've even taken up coffee again.

I've been thinking about raw...does that count? I've had so many false starts, but damn it, I keep coming back. This blog reads like...well...like a fallible human wrote it.

I believe in raw, in nutrional healing, in the energy and health it provides. So why do I spend time in Sabotageville?

Someone recently asked me what it's like to be a raw musician, and I had to anwer honestly that I've yet to combine the two. It's been one or the other so far. While I dream of being slim and healthy and energetic on stage, I have only, so far, performed with a good layer on me. Is it protection? You know, how women sometimes... I tend to think so.

Who would I be if I rawked AND rolled?

lol

Anyway, here's what I'm spending my time on...music. And here's what I exactly look like today. I'm not my "After" photo anymore...or yet again...or something. But I want to share my love of singing with you, as I am today.

Rawkin' Roll with the Punches...

Things are rawkin' in rawkville...sorry, that's (raw) cheezy. :p

Some days I'm 100%, some days, I'm raw until dinner...but all days, I'm in the right head-space for it. So I'd say it's going wonderfully.

That mindset. That corner you turn. It finally happened again. This time, as I've been saying, I'm traveling lighter down that path...not gorging myself on raw food info, leaving little time for other pursuits, and getting all zealot-y on myself or worse, on others.

I'm not preaching, even to myself. I'm curbing myself from reading labels. I know everyone "should" read labels but I got into that and went beyond it, where I was always reading labels and then either scoffing at "what they put in this shit" or mad at myself for indulging in some of it. Just crazy making stuff.

And I know I must be a pain in the ass to grocery shop with. I'm sure, though my boyfriend is too smart to tell me that. ;) He'd put some salad dressing in the cart and I'd pick it up and read it and say, "Did you see the SODIUM?!" And he'd sigh and put it back on the shelf. Yes, it's good to care, but it's not good to take over, and it's often better to leave some things alone, sometimes. JUST SOMETIMES! ;)

Anyway, I know enough about foods now to leave that stuff alone for the most part, and just eat. Just eat when I'm hungry and notice when I'm eating when it's not about hunger, and just witness myself, overall. I feel like this time, I'm removing the emergency of raw foods, and choosing to just groove along, noticing benefits and consequences, accordingly.

The other day, I enjoyed a lime lemonade from a bottle that made that loud 'pak' sound when I twisted the lid...a sure sign it's been pasteurized. I knew that going in, and just viewed my selection as a lovely, refreshing drink on a hot summer day.

When I finished drinking it, I instinctively turned the bottle on its side, aiming to read what I'd done to myself, and had a big "on second thought" moment and just tossed it in the recycle bin. Because I know that the only thing I would do with that information is regret my choice, berate myself for drinking it, etc.

Now, this is not to say I now want to have blinders on, of course. It's more about taming the extremities of raw for me. I want to lose the mind games I played with myself. Mind games I didn't realize were there, but that now, for some reason, I see with clarity. I hadn't realized how unbending I was (and therefore more prone to breaking) I was when I was that rigid.

And again, it's not that I don't think raw is great or that 100% raw is greater, because I actually do feel that way, for myself anyway...having been at the peak of energy and health when I was all the way raw... it's more the mindset... I want to be as raw as I'm ready to be, not as raw as I'm willing to white knuckle. I don't want to be on a wagon that I can fall from... this time I want to be just easin' on down the road.

Sing it with me, People!

Rawkin' Roll with the Punches...

Things are rawkin' in rawkville...sorry, that's (raw) cheezy. :p

Some days I'm 100%, some days, I'm raw until dinner...but all days, I'm in the right head-space for it. So I'd say it's going wonderfully.

That mindset. That corner you turn. It finally happened again. This time, as I've been saying, I'm traveling lighter down that path...not gorging myself on raw food info, leaving little time for other pursuits, and getting all zealot-y on myself or worse, on others.

I'm not preaching, even to myself. I'm curbing myself from reading labels. I know everyone "should" read labels but I got into that and went beyond it, where I was always reading labels and then either scoffing at "what they put in this shit" or mad at myself for indulging in some of it. Just crazy making stuff.

And I know I must be a pain in the ass to grocery shop with. I'm sure, though my boyfriend is too smart to tell me that. ;) He'd put some salad dressing in the cart and I'd pick it up and read it and say, "Did you see the SODIUM?!" And he'd sigh and put it back on the shelf. Yes, it's good to care, but it's not good to take over, and it's often better to leave some things alone, sometimes. JUST SOMETIMES! ;)

Anyway, I know enough about foods now to leave that stuff alone for the most part, and just eat. Just eat when I'm hungry and notice when I'm eating when it's not about hunger, and just witness myself, overall. I feel like this time, I'm removing the emergency of raw foods, and choosing to just groove along, noticing benefits and consequences, accordingly.

The other day, I enjoyed a lime lemonade from a bottle that made that loud 'pak' sound when I twisted the lid...a sure sign it's been pasteurized. I knew that going in, and just viewed my selection as a lovely, refreshing drink on a hot summer day.

When I finished drinking it, I instinctively turned the bottle on its side, aiming to read what I'd done to myself, and had a big "on second thought" moment and just tossed it in the recycle bin. Because I know that the only thing I would do with that information is regret my choice, berate myself for drinking it, etc.

Now, this is not to say I now want to have blinders on, of course. It's more about taming the extremities of raw for me. I want to lose the mind games I played with myself. Mind games I didn't realize were there, but that now, for some reason, I see with clarity. I hadn't realized how unbending I was (and therefore more prone to breaking) I was when I was that rigid.

And again, it's not that I don't think raw is great or that 100% raw is greater, because I actually do feel that way, for myself anyway...having been at the peak of energy and health when I was all the way raw... it's more the mindset... I want to be as raw as I'm ready to be, not as raw as I'm willing to white knuckle. I don't want to be on a wagon that I can fall from... this time I want to be just easin' on down the road.

Sing it with me, People!

Doing Well...

It's going great! :)

For the most part, I'm drinking smoothies a couple times a day, and using coconut water as the base instead of water, and is it ever good! I throw some of the meat in there, too. I read that you shouldn't drink the water or eat the meat from, a coconut that is even slightly pink...well, good thing they are cheap ($1.49 each at the Chinese market) because out of 4, only 2 were ok today. So I've been feasting on those, and smoothie-ing the water, and drinking what doesn't go in the Vita-mix. I used to not enjoy these at all, but have developed a taste...actually, a craving, for them, and now I'm having a couple per day.

I'm also eating salads, and lots of great fruit...berries, passion fruit, mangoes, etc.

Had a SAD but tasty meal on Friday, and didn't fuss over that, just took it in stride, like a hiccup, and went right back on raw today. I really meant it when I said I don't want to have raw all up in my face. Besides not wanting to always be thinking about raw, I just don't want to give myself a hard time about it anymore. It's like suddenly, I am aware of a neurosis and I'm not happy with it, so I'm fixing it. :)

Steve & I rode the Harley to Gorilla Foods downtown, a fabulous raw & living food restaurant, where I enjoyed a slice of raw pizza and a juice called Simple Green, which gave us a chuckle, as we have some of that under our sink....it's a non-toxic cleaning product...but not this time. :) I hesitated about getting the juice because I usually place some time between eating and drinking a smoothie, but I consumed both, with no ill-effect.

For dinner, I've just polished off a plate of angel hair 'pasta' (spiralized zucchini) with marinara sauce...piece o' cake to make, and so tasty. I added extra cayenne and went half dulse/half salt. YUMMO!

I feel a lot better about myself knowing that I'm going in the right direction again: towards health.

As you were! ;)

Doing Well...

It's going great! :)

For the most part, I'm drinking smoothies a couple times a day, and using coconut water as the base instead of water, and is it ever good! I throw some of the meat in there, too. I read that you shouldn't drink the water or eat the meat from, a coconut that is even slightly pink...well, good thing they are cheap ($1.49 each at the Chinese market) because out of 4, only 2 were ok today. So I've been feasting on those, and smoothie-ing the water, and drinking what doesn't go in the Vita-mix. I used to not enjoy these at all, but have developed a taste...actually, a craving, for them, and now I'm having a couple per day.

I'm also eating salads, and lots of great fruit...berries, passion fruit, mangoes, etc.

Had a SAD but tasty meal on Friday, and didn't fuss over that, just took it in stride, like a hiccup, and went right back on raw today. I really meant it when I said I don't want to have raw all up in my face. Besides not wanting to always be thinking about raw, I just don't want to give myself a hard time about it anymore. It's like suddenly, I am aware of a neurosis and I'm not happy with it, so I'm fixing it. :)

Steve & I rode the Harley to Gorilla Foods downtown, a fabulous raw & living food restaurant, where I enjoyed a slice of raw pizza and a juice called Simple Green, which gave us a chuckle, as we have some of that under our sink....it's a non-toxic cleaning product...but not this time. :) I hesitated about getting the juice because I usually place some time between eating and drinking a smoothie, but I consumed both, with no ill-effect.

For dinner, I've just polished off a plate of angel hair 'pasta' (spiralized zucchini) with marinara sauce...piece o' cake to make, and so tasty. I added extra cayenne and went half dulse/half salt. YUMMO!

I feel a lot better about myself knowing that I'm going in the right direction again: towards health.

As you were! ;)

Thoughts from 4 days in...

This is Day 4 of eating raw. I had to count back to Monday, because it's not that I'm actually counting. I'm just doing it. Cause really, once I'm eating raw, I have decided I don't want to think about it, I just want to do it. Trade one way of eating for another, rather than get all up in my own face about it.

That's an aspect of my resistance that I've discovered...that it's so all-consuming. In the past, being raw has enveloped and defined me, and how I carry out my days, often leaving time for little else.

So maybe this is me seeking ~balance~ in raw. Because the benefits of raw are off the charts, it's definitely worth pursuing as a way to optimal health. Lately, though, I've been questioning why it has to be on my mind so much when I choose to eat this way.

So this go-round, I'm going to keep blogging to document how it's going, and I'm going to continue to shine the light in the other areas of my life that mean a lot to me, as well...music, painting, etc.

I'm sure most folks already do that. Me, I'm so all-or-nothin' that I seem to drop one thing to wrap myself in the other for a time, giving each my all.

I'm going focus on being more moderate. I know it's a tall order for a Libran but I really want what's best for me. :) That's the bottom line, right?

Thoughts from 4 days in...

This is Day 4 of eating raw. I had to count back to Monday, because it's not that I'm actually counting. I'm just doing it. Cause really, once I'm eating raw, I have decided I don't want to think about it, I just want to do it. Trade one way of eating for another, rather than get all up in my own face about it.

That's an aspect of my resistance that I've discovered...that it's so all-consuming. In the past, being raw has enveloped and defined me, and how I carry out my days, often leaving time for little else.

So maybe this is me seeking ~balance~ in raw. Because the benefits of raw are off the charts, it's definitely worth pursuing as a way to optimal health. Lately, though, I've been questioning why it has to be on my mind so much when I choose to eat this way.

So this go-round, I'm going to keep blogging to document how it's going, and I'm going to continue to shine the light in the other areas of my life that mean a lot to me, as well...music, painting, etc.

I'm sure most folks already do that. Me, I'm so all-or-nothin' that I seem to drop one thing to wrap myself in the other for a time, giving each my all.

I'm going focus on being more moderate. I know it's a tall order for a Libran but I really want what's best for me. :) That's the bottom line, right?

here we go...

There's a restaurant in town that we go to when we're eating S.A.D. and a restaurant we go when we're eating raw.

About a month ago, our waitress at the S.A.D. place said, "Geez, haven't seen you guys in so long!" And I explained to her that whenever she doesn't see us, it means we're eating healthy, and whenever she does, it means we're off the wagon..." (Sad but true...)

Fast forward to yesterday, and we were in our Raw Cafe/Organic Grocery and the owner says, "Geez, haven't seen you guys in so long!" And before I could say anything, he continued..."Working hard? Busy? Eating junk?"

hahaha nailed it.

***********************************************

Ordered a beet burger and salad, and man, my body just inhaled that salad. It's like it was goin', "GREENS!! Shove 'em in here, who knows when that's gonna happen again!!"

We loaded up on tons of produce: red grapes, oranges, apples, apricots, plums, mangos, cucumber, red pepper, kale, etc....

For dinner, I ate a couple sprouted grain tortillas with hummus, and loaded up a bowl of apricots and plums, and later, munched on grapes.

*********************************************

This morning, I'm having a green smoothie and my body is saying, "AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..."

Emotionally, I already feel better, just for having made these choices. I don't know why it is that I can't just off-handedly make these choices and carry on, but it seems I have to surround myself with lists and fresh starts and re-starts and announcements and drastic measures and books for inspiration, etc but if that's who I am and how it has to happen, I guess I just have to go with it for now. Reading my own blog reminds me that it gets easier. Though I honestly feel as if I'm reading about a different person in a different life...that's how far removed raw is from S.A.D.

Onward!

here we go...

There's a restaurant in town that we go to when we're eating S.A.D. and a restaurant we go when we're eating raw.

About a month ago, our waitress at the S.A.D. place said, "Geez, haven't seen you guys in so long!" And I explained to her that whenever she doesn't see us, it means we're eating healthy, and whenever she does, it means we're off the wagon..." (Sad but true...)

Fast forward to yesterday, and we were in our Raw Cafe/Organic Grocery and the owner says, "Geez, haven't seen you guys in so long!" And before I could say anything, he continued..."Working hard? Busy? Eating junk?"

hahaha nailed it.

***********************************************

Ordered a beet burger and salad, and man, my body just inhaled that salad. It's like it was goin', "GREENS!! Shove 'em in here, who knows when that's gonna happen again!!"

We loaded up on tons of produce: red grapes, oranges, apples, apricots, plums, mangos, cucumber, red pepper, kale, etc....

For dinner, I ate a couple sprouted grain tortillas with hummus, and loaded up a bowl of apricots and plums, and later, munched on grapes.

*********************************************

This morning, I'm having a green smoothie and my body is saying, "AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..."

Emotionally, I already feel better, just for having made these choices. I don't know why it is that I can't just off-handedly make these choices and carry on, but it seems I have to surround myself with lists and fresh starts and re-starts and announcements and drastic measures and books for inspiration, etc but if that's who I am and how it has to happen, I guess I just have to go with it for now. Reading my own blog reminds me that it gets easier. Though I honestly feel as if I'm reading about a different person in a different life...that's how far removed raw is from S.A.D.

Onward!

Tough Love, Tough Shit.

I'm not waiting for motivation, not for another minute. It's not coming. So I've decided to leave without it. If it wants to follow, fine. But it's obvious that it's not intending to lead. So off I go on my own. F*it. Clearly, I need to lift myself out of this S.A.D. fog by myself, even if I have to drag my own arse kickin' and screaming, peeling my fingers off doorjambs while I pull my own legs by the feet down this path.

I'm DOING this. I'll thank myself later, after I'm done whining. I've heard (and dimly recall) that it takes only about a week to feel better. As Emily Shaules said, "I can do anything for a week. Hell, I'd drink gasoline for a week if I thought it would have made me feel better."

So this is the week, damn it. Despite myself and my inner nincompoop who tries her addict-best to mess things up, I am eating RAW. Hold me to it.

xo
Rawkin'

Tough Love, Tough Shit.

I'm not waiting for motivation, not for another minute. It's not coming. So I've decided to leave without it. If it wants to follow, fine. But it's obvious that it's not intending to lead. So off I go on my own. F*it. Clearly, I need to lift myself out of this S.A.D. fog by myself, even if I have to drag my own arse kickin' and screaming, peeling my fingers off doorjambs while I pull my own legs by the feet down this path.

I'm DOING this. I'll thank myself later, after I'm done whining. I've heard (and dimly recall) that it takes only about a week to feel better. As Emily Shaules said, "I can do anything for a week. Hell, I'd drink gasoline for a week if I thought it would have made me feel better."

So this is the week, damn it. Despite myself and my inner nincompoop who tries her addict-best to mess things up, I am eating RAW. Hold me to it.

xo
Rawkin'

Emily Shaules in Vancouver

Well the talk with Emily Shaules was inspiring. I really enjoyed it.

She spoke of her life prior to going raw, how riddled with pain and illness she was, and how she was ready to give up. After discovering raw, she began to feel better after only a week, and continues her raw journey now, following her dreams to be a motivational raw speaker, currently on tour.

It was good to catch her live; good to hear this relatable story. How we all have ups and downs on the raw path, and how we serve ourselves better once we choose to witness ourselves rather than judge. That spoke loudly to me. How, instead of guilt-tripping, just seeing things as "it is." I happen to come to that a lot in my life, the thought, 'it just IS...' It's not always a comfortable thing, sometimes it's a resignation that I sigh through. But this way, 'is is' or even 'it just is' is more of a shrug, an acceptance. I ate that cooked food. It just is. One day, as she said, when I'm ready, I'll reach for that __________ (raw food). She made it all okay and what I especially liked was that she's so darned human about it. I sure do appreciate that in someone.

Onward!

Emily Shaules in Vancouver

Well the talk with Emily Shaules was inspiring. I really enjoyed it.

She spoke of her life prior to going raw, how riddled with pain and illness she was, and how she was ready to give up. After discovering raw, she began to feel better after only a week, and continues her raw journey now, following her dreams to be a motivational raw speaker, currently on tour.

It was good to catch her live; good to hear this relatable story. How we all have ups and downs on the raw path, and how we serve ourselves better once we choose to witness ourselves rather than judge. That spoke loudly to me. How, instead of guilt-tripping, just seeing things as "it is." I happen to come to that a lot in my life, the thought, 'it just IS...' It's not always a comfortable thing, sometimes it's a resignation that I sigh through. But this way, 'is is' or even 'it just is' is more of a shrug, an acceptance. I ate that cooked food. It just is. One day, as she said, when I'm ready, I'll reach for that __________ (raw food). She made it all okay and what I especially liked was that she's so darned human about it. I sure do appreciate that in someone.

Onward!

Friday Night Inspiration...

I booked off my usual Friday night Open Mic hosting duties (it's in good hands) in favor of attending what I hope will be just what I need in the way of motivation & inspiration.

When I got the newsletter from Raw BC, I read about this and knew I had to go. I feel like 'Last Chance Texaco' with myself. So here's hopin'...

If nothin' else, I'll hook up with my lovely, vibrant, raw friends again, and that can only be a good thing!!

July 3: Emily Shaules in Vancouver

Emily is a motivational speaker who focuses on the power of raw and living foods to enhance and transform one’s physical, emotional and spiritual life.

Emily is embarking on her first cross-country tour to share her story of how she went from a stressed-out attorney taking 25 pills a day for Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, TMJ, depression, sinusitis, insomnia, etc. to a vibrantly healthy and happy entrepreneur and founder of www.RawBreakthrough.com.

Emily recently completed a three-month internship at the Creative Health Institute (a raw foods healing center) and will be speaking at two of the three Raw Spirit Festivals this year.

Some of the topics to be addressed in the Presentation:

Is the Raw Food Diet for you?
Overcoming Health Challenges
Why some diets work and some don’t
Difficulties that may arise on your health journey
Benefits of eating raw foods, juicing and colonics
Taking care of the body naturally
Addressing underlying issues of poor eating habits, depression, etc.
Overcoming plateaus in diet and life
The mind-body-spirit connection
The power of superfoods
Working at / visiting a raw foods healing center

Friday Night Inspiration...

I booked off my usual Friday night Open Mic hosting duties (it's in good hands) in favor of attending what I hope will be just what I need in the way of motivation & inspiration.

When I got the newsletter from Raw BC, I read about this and knew I had to go. I feel like 'Last Chance Texaco' with myself. So here's hopin'...

If nothin' else, I'll hook up with my lovely, vibrant, raw friends again, and that can only be a good thing!!

July 3: Emily Shaules in Vancouver

Emily is a motivational speaker who focuses on the power of raw and living foods to enhance and transform one’s physical, emotional and spiritual life.

Emily is embarking on her first cross-country tour to share her story of how she went from a stressed-out attorney taking 25 pills a day for Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, TMJ, depression, sinusitis, insomnia, etc. to a vibrantly healthy and happy entrepreneur and founder of www.RawBreakthrough.com.

Emily recently completed a three-month internship at the Creative Health Institute (a raw foods healing center) and will be speaking at two of the three Raw Spirit Festivals this year.

Some of the topics to be addressed in the Presentation:

Is the Raw Food Diet for you?
Overcoming Health Challenges
Why some diets work and some don’t
Difficulties that may arise on your health journey
Benefits of eating raw foods, juicing and colonics
Taking care of the body naturally
Addressing underlying issues of poor eating habits, depression, etc.
Overcoming plateaus in diet and life
The mind-body-spirit connection
The power of superfoods
Working at / visiting a raw foods healing center